we are light

How I found love.

Gratitude and fear cannot exist together.

If it’s spooky then it can’t be scary.

Our energies, our essences were dancing through the dimensions. Tangoing around an infinite pole; intricately intertwined and connected between space and time. Two lights twisting and turning, supporting each other.

You were my host, my guide. The traveler who had adventured here before; this time you wanted to share that space with me and make sure I stayed safe. You grounded us and held me. You freed me from my mind and you saw my psychosis, my raw, my essence.

You held my hand and helped me towards bliss, towards light, towards earth, towards peace, towards empathy and love. Your story played out in movies in front of my eyes. The whole world becoming the light tunnel that we traveled through, bringing us back from the darkness, from the deep recesses of my mind. Healing me and showing me peace.

I painted skies of clouds in purples, blues, and greens behind the outline of dark trees in a forest. I saw my tattoo come to life. The memories of that Christmas; my brother’s journey and all of the pain. The pain of his absence, of the thought of losing him forever, and the pain of facing the truth in our reality. The pain of letting go of a past and running towards a future. I painted beaches and oceans and paradise, bliss. True bliss.

I am a deep reddish-purple.

You are my yellow-orange light.

Embodying a goddess, bowing in return to my god.

I saw my essence, and then I saw yours, and we danced.

You twirled me through dimensions, you showed me what I could be, you supported me with love, and you held me. You rooted me. We flowed together.

You were my guide. You showed me how beautiful and shining I was. How you had traveled and experienced so many things so that you could be here to help me through it too. How on either side of me, are all the people who helped you; equals, existing on the same plane, alongside each other.

There were some things I wouldn’t have been able to do alone. I needed you and you needed me. We complemented each other so perfectly; we could stay together and survive. You were the only one who could get me through this and you have been preparing for this moment. Everything in your past brought you here, to me. The people we were when we met allowed us to become the most beautiful versions of ourselves. Each step of our journey crucial to making us ready.

We are deeply bonded now. In a way that very few experience and in a way that no one else can ever truly understand. An experience that can never be replicated.

One of the most powerful experiences of my life.

It was terrifying and beautiful. It was bliss and suffering. It was gods and statues and Marilyn Monroe. It was Polynesian ships and lego trees. It was a shining sky and hexagons of energy. It was tingling and numbing. It was confining and freeing. It was prisms and paintings and galaxies.

You looked dewy, like a god, like the most perfect being I had ever seen. I looked at you and you were art; an oil painting standing out so brightly from the canvas behind you. The world swirling together, painting your backdrop as you glowed.

We pressed our heads together. Feeling our energy and power flow through our minds. Connecting so intimately and purely. Connecting so deeply.

I felt your love and I saw it as a burst of light in the space between us. A light within the deeper dimensions between our essence. I gathered my love within me and then I threw it to you; like a jet taking off into cyberspace. You held me tighter. I love you for your essence and I love me for mine. I know that you love me too, maybe more than I can understand, maybe more than I want to admit, maybe more than I can believe to be worthy of.

We are love.

We are energy.

We are light.